I didn’t order room service.

This episode features everything you think of when you hear the phrase The X-Files: UFOs, extraterrestrials, government coverups, highly classified lies and the “enigmatic Dr. Scully”. While this is a classic X-Files episode, we didn’t find much culinary inspiration, so we turned to the episode’s main setting, Wisconsin.  Cheese seemed like the obvious route, but we’ve also learned that Wisconsin is the nation’s top producer of cranberries.  Apparently, Wisconsin loves its cranberries so much that they’re the state’s official fruit. So, we thought, why not something that highlights cranberries? Thus, these vegan cranberry Linzer cookies! 

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This episode has some great moments, with the introduction of Max Fenig and NICAP, and Scully’s expression when it’s revealed that Mulder has published extensively about UFOs under the flimsiest of pseudonyms.  Mulder’s target audience is people who follow conspiracy theories, and yet he thought a simple anagram would elude them?  The episode ends with the twisty reveal that Deep Throat has FBI ties and may not be as trustworthy as Mulder thinks he is.  Who’s side is he truly on? Trust no one.  

Final thoughts– these two fans who live in Colorado Springs were also excited to see the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD cameo. Also, we noted with amusement that Scully responds to a stressful day the same way we do: heading straight to the fridge, only this time it was the sad, empty fridge in Mulder’s hotel suite.

The Recipe File|

Make these cookies vegan by using vegan butter (we used Myoko’s) and almond butter instead of eggs. You’ll also want to use an unrefined or organic sugar to ensure that the cookies are completely vegan.

Stir together the flour, almond flour and salt. Set aside the dry ingredients. Using a standing mixer or an electronic hand mixer, beat together the vegan butter, sugar and ginger until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add almond butter and vanilla extract and beat until combined. Note: to really lean into the almond flavor of these cookies, sub in almond extract for vanilla. Add in the dry ingredients, and mix until just combined.

Separate the cookie dough into 2 parts and wrap in saran wrap. Chill in the fridge for at least 1 hour. We find separating the dough into 2 equal halves helps us make the same number of tops and bottoms for these sandwich cookies.

Remove one of the cookie dough balls from the fridge. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough until it’s about 1/8” thick. Use a circle cookie cutter to cut out the base of the cookies. You can re-roll the un-used dough between the cookie cutouts once to cut out additional cookies. Transfer the cookie cutouts to a baking sheet.

Remove the second cookie dough ball from the fridge and roll out to 1/8” thick on a lightly floured surface. Use the circle cookie cutter to cut out the tops of the cookies. Use a small cookie cutter to cut a shape in the center of each Linzer cookie top. We used a small X-shaped cookie cutter to give our cookies that extra X-Files touch.

We chilled our cutout cookies on the trays for an additional 30 minutes.

While the cookie cutouts chill, make the cranberry filling. In a medium-sized saucepan, combine 2C fresh or frozen cranberries, 1/2 C sugar, and 1 tsp minced or grated fresh ginger. Note: you can add more sugar if you’d prefer a less-tart filling. Heat the cranberry mixture over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until the cranberries burst and start to break down and thicken, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in 1 tbsp vegan butter. We used a masher to lightly mash the cranberry mixture. If you’d prefer your filling to be smoother, you can blend it or strain out the cranberry skins.

When you’re finishing up the cranberry mixture, preheat oven to 325°F. Bake the cookies for 9 – 11 minutes, keeping a close eye on them, as they can burn quickly. Allow cookies to cool completely.

Add about 1 tbsp of cranberry filling to each cookie bottom, and then press on the top cookie. Once all cookies are assembled, lightly dust with powdered sugar. The powdered sugar will dissolve into the cranberry jam, so you can just dust the entire cookie.

These cookies are best if eaten the day they’re assembled, as they do start to soften once the cranberry filling has been added. If you want to bake them ahead, you can bake the cookies and prepare the cranberry filling a day in advance, but be sure not to assemble them until shortly before serving.

Vegan Cranberry Linzer Cookies Recipe

You can just snack on the baked centers, or serve them with the ’90s X-Files Funfetti Dip.